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Care Partner of the Month -September/October
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Ted Levy
Jupiter, Florida

Two years after Helaine’s stroke, 1997, I got diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocyte Leukemia, a disease that makes me fatigued and will take my life early. I would have probably gotten it later in my life, because it is in the family genes. That plus two years of intense stress and very exhausting care giving with no help or support, had taken its toll.

After 3 years as a caregiver I was running on empty. One day I just passed out. I was taken to the hospital and hooked up for a day and a half to a variety of monitoring devices. The doctor found nothing and attributed everything to my exhaustion. But my focus is still Helaine. I want to do everything for her before I’m not able to do it and have to deal with my own ill health.

Helaine’s right arm is still severely subluxed two inches below the joint. It hurts her a great deal, but she refuses to wear a sling very often. It would relieve some of the pull. She hates to exercise. I try to get her onto a schedule, but she always makes an excuse. It’s frustrating. Someone must protect her at all times. She is not secure about walking; frequently I prevent her from falling by supporting her under each elbow as she walks. I walk backwards out of restaurants to make sure that she sees the danger of uneven parts of the floor or a loose carpet, etc. I run interference so that people in public places do not bump her and knock her down. I am always there to protect her; it is part of true love.

I have been criticized for being too protective, but I know things others don’t know about my wife’s condition. She recently fell at her Stroke of Hope (Florida) Group Therapy session because an experienced caregiver did not hold the chair or adequately anticipate what she was going to do. That’s the point, really, you can’t assume what she is going to do. You have to be vigilant at all times. While she is on her feet I never take my eyes off of her!

Helaine is totally paralyzed on the right side and her muscles are very weak on the left side. She speaks a few small sentences and can make herself known but not in detail all of the time. She does not understand everything that someone says, although to others it appears that she understands. Emotionally she is even more vulnerable. It is easy to take advantage of her since she loves and trusts everyone. I am always on duty to protect her from people who might take advantage of her naïve good nature.

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