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| Stroke
Survivor of the Month
- September/October page 2  Helaine Levy Jupiter, Florida I get seizures and black out – I am regularly rushed by ambulance to the hospital. I am unable to speak, I am unable to read, I am unable to write, I can’t concentrate, my vision is almost gone and it is blurred. My memory with those beautiful images of youth are lost forever, my mind is foggy. People treat me like I’m not in there, they make decisions for me, they don’t talk to me - they talk at me - they talk about me - they talk loud as if I understood “loud” better (it’s funny but who can laugh). I am declared “incompetent” to handle my own affairs, I am totally dependent. I am an island. I am lonely and depressed, I can’t express it; I can’t speak! I’m tired all the time and the medication that I must take for the rest of my life makes me fatigued. The medications have caused my liver functions to be out of control, I am totally exhausted all of the time; they are considering a liver transplant. I move and think in slow motion, loved ones become impatient, but I can’t help it. How can I control the permanent damage that has been done to the cells in my brain? I wish I could be back in control again – but normal again is not possible, “normal” is gone forever. In public people avoid contact with me, they walk around me as though I was a marble statue, “they are afraid they will catch it”, they don’t want to look at me! My feelings are hurt – I am still me, a loving human being; they don’t understand, I can’t express myself.
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