Stroke Survivor of the Month - September 2003

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Debbie Brantley
Cold Spring, NY

During the first nine months that I was back in New York I was able to go to NYC to see a wonderful nurse therapist who utilizes imagery, Bonney Schaub, M.S., R.N. I was also able to take a class at the NY Psychosynthesis Institute which Bonney codirects with her husband Richard Schuab, PhD. These two activities allowed me to continue to heal. Bonney was my witness to the mysteries in my healing. The class with Bonney and Richard provided a great deal of cognitive stimulation. In addition, their presence and support allowed me to begin to reestablish a sense of self. This allowed me to regain some independence and a new a sense of my place in this world.

I remember vividly once having gotten off of the "number 6 train" and crossing University Place at Union Square. In that moment I wondered what my neurosurgeon from Montgomery would say if he could see me traversing New York City alone. When a year and a half ago he left an OR in the middle of the night and told my family, "Debbie will not live through the night; people who have these sort of injuries do not survive."

I was asked to help create a garden at the CNR School of Nursing (my alma mater). One day my dear friend Pattie had a meeting with the dean of the School of Nursing, after which she was in the garden chatting with me. All of the sudden there in the garden stood the Dean and a group of holistic nurse educators. It was truly a transcendent moment, "when you just know something meaningful is happening".

As a result of that afternoon Dean Donna Demarest and her Assistant Dean Penny Bamford who were both fully aware of my stroke and resulting disability allowed me to do some work in the exploration of a wellness center for the school of nursing. By the fall I was facilitating the freshman seminar class. This class is for the incoming freshman nursing students. I facilitated this class with Dr. Lynda Shand. Talk about life affirming. What a wonderful experience. I will always hold the CNR SON Class of '05 and Dr. Lynda Shand close in my heart for their presence and understanding as well as for participating in my continued healing.

Also as a result of the convergence of nurse educators in the garden that day the way was opened for me to rework a holistic nursing elective at the CNR. I named the class The Art and Essence of Holistic Nursing. Another garden for me to tend. The seeds being planted this time are those of my lived experience both as a clinical nurse specialist in holistic nursing and as a human who has suffered on every level of my being.

I am now teaching for the 4th semester a class that is truly a reflection of my continued healing. It is 4 years and 4 months since the crisis that forever changed me. This work at the College of New Rochelle has been healing on many levels (maybe the reason I came back and I do not mean to NYC). I am humbled in this process of healing. The students are tending the garden of my continued growth and healing. I am full of feelings of grace. After the events that could have destroyed me, my spirit life returned me to the place that supported my personal growth and healing. Once again I am supported and nurtured in my process. Life on this level has come full circle.

My reasons for sharing this story with you are simple. I want to share my lived experience of disease, death, rebirth, healing and of the process of being open to the infinite possibilities being offered and how this ability to open oneself to the ubiquity of spirit allows one to witness the mystery of healing as it unfolds.

I wish you all well on your healing journey,

Namaste' debbie